11th Dec2008

Don’t ask, don’t tell

by Dutchcloggie

JD has, according to the Oncologist, a high likelihood of her tumour being a Grade II Astrocytoma. Inoperable because it has invaded the Corpus Callosum and there are signs of invasion of the Thalamus. This sounds really scary when they say words like ‘invaded’ and ‘inoperable’ but how bad is that really when it comes to daily life? I mean, the smallest sign of tumour is considered ‘invasion’ but that does not mean it is aggressively invading and growing, like an ivy plant growing up against the wall and eventually invading the wall of your house, pushing the bricks and mortar apart to get in.

RT starts in January and the Oncologist said: This will work. But will work for what? To stop the tumour growing further? For a while or for good? Is it a 99 certainty with these tumours that they will grow back eventually?

I kind of want to know if, in the end, this is going to be fatal. Even if it is in 10 or 15 years. I just do not want to have the idea that this can be cured completely only to then find out in a few years time that I was wrong in that belief. I know that it can be years after treatment before it comes back but none of the doctors have said anything about long term prognosis.

I wonder if long-term prognosis is a case of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. If we don’t ask them abut it, why should they say: “You do realise this will kill you in, on average, 15 years” for example.

Somehow I don’t want to know if this is fatal in the short term but I do want to know if, in the long term, this will be fatal.

Every time I think: if only I knew the answer to –insert question here–, I will feel better about things, more in control. And then we get the answer an a new question comes up and I think: If only I knew the answer to THIS question, I would have a better idea of how to handle this.

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