How do you know things are getting better? How do you know she is not just having a good/bad day?
Last week, I asked JD to start making dinner before I got home so I could go to a meeting of my sports club. And lo and behold, when I got home, she had made a start with dinner, chips were in the oven and the dishwasher had been emptied.
A few weeks ago, that would not have happened. So, I am thinking that means there is improvement. She remembered to do what I asked her to do and did it.
But then again, last week, I asked her to go to our doctor so she could pick up HER prescription which I would then take to the pharmacy. I stressed how much I would appreciate her doing this as I was very busy already and I am sometimes struggling to keep track of all the things in both our lives that I need to do and remember. JD can play sports for an hour or so, so a 15 minute walk to the doctor was not asking a lot. She could easily do it. I also stressed that if she did not go and pick it up, she would be out of medication at the weekend and that it would be her own responsibility to sort it out.
So I tried the nice approach, I tried the ‘it would mean much to me’ approach, I tried the ‘it is really urgent’ approach. I rang her during the day to remind her to go. Twice she said she was about to go. But when I came home from the office, she had not gone. I was angry and disappointed. Especially because I had told her it would make my life so much easier if she would go and pick the blasted thing up.
Sometimes I feel taken for granted. She says she loves me. I know she does. I love her too. Lots.
So what is improvement? The fact that she can play sports for an hour? The fact that she remembered to empty the dishwasher? Or was that just a fluke?