15th Aug2011

An accidental holiday

by Dutchcloggie

I had told myself after Jane’s death that I would not be able to go on a camping holiday on my own for a long while. We used to love it so much so it was too much for me to contemplate doing it on my own. Too many happy memories to make me sad.

However, kind of accidentally, I seem to be going on a 10 days trip on Wednesday and I am getting a bit scared.

I am going to work at The Green Man Festival in Wales for 5 days. I’ll be camping but because I am working, I did not see it as camping but more as living in a tent for a while.

However, I also want to go to Cornwall to learn to surf so I reasoned it would be easiest to drive from Wales to Cornwall, do a few days surfing and then go home again. Again, I did not see the surfing thing as much of a holiday because initially I was going to stay in a hostel and it was only 3 days. But since I will have my tent in the car, it would be throwing my money away to go in a hostel. However, due to various other things, I won’t be able to go surfing before college starts if I don’t go next week.

So now these two non-holidays have combined to a 10 day trip away from home and it is looking suspiciously like a holiday on my own. The camping gear is lying around the house, I am packing tent and sleeping bag etc. I will be cooking my dinner and breakfast on the Camping Gaz stove we bought in France, sleep on the airmatress we last slept on at the Edinburgh Fringe last year…

And since I have realised this, I have become really scared and upset by it. I am not sure I am ready for a ‘proper holiday’ on my own.

I am not afraid of the festival because I will be working And if I find it difficult on my own, I will just take on some more shifts to keep me busy.

But the surfing makes it a proper trip rather than a long weekend to Cornwall, if that makes sense. But otherwise it is a 6 hour drive from my house and that does not make sense for a few days.

So logically, it makes perfect sense. But emotionally, I have suddenly become really scared…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Complete this maths puzzle to prove you are a human: *